新生

本应该多说一些的 但又不是很想说什么 我也不想把博客变成相册 但有时候仅仅看着照片就够了 语言往往比图像缺乏说服力

另一些照片在这里 http://www.douban.com/photos/album/12495643/

然后

不必急于寻找你的同类，我的朋友，疯子都是孤独的。

with my dear

从不狡辩，从不妥协

click it then you can see my wallpaper.

我又開始用加加輸入法了

－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－

無心的一句話，只要反復斟酌，也會品味出其中的意味。

以后一定他娘的要努力不在乎不該在乎的東西。包括人，包括錢，包括言語，包括理論。

我可不可以活的更不動聲色一點？

更麻木一點。

有些話想用非自己母語的語言表達出來還真是很難。

而更多的時候連自己的母語也難以詮釋自己的真實想法。

是文采的問題么。

還是有一堵敦厚的墻阻礙了別人的窺視。

i will wait.

i know

even though we get together

there's no result at last

it's my turn to be a virgin to be a bitch to be a rubbish

it's my turn to bear all of these

but i wanna say i will wait

still wait

even though i'm not sure

whoever

whatever

-------------------------------------------------------

EDIE SEDGWICK (1943-1971)

I don't know how she did it. Fire

She was shaking all over. It took

her hours to put her make-up on.

But she did it. Even the false eye-lashes.

She ordered gin with triple

limes. Then a limosine. Everyone

knew she was the real heroine of

Blonde on Blonde.

oh it isn't fair

oh it isn't fair

how her ermine hair

turned men around

she was white on white

so blonde on blonde

and her long long legs

how I used to beg

to dance with her

but I never had

a chance with her

oh it isn't fair

how her ermine hair

used to swing so nice

used to cut the air

how all the men

used to dance with her

I never got a chance with her

though I really asked her

down deep

where you do

really dream

in the mind

reading love

I'd get

insideher move

and we'd

turn around

and she'd

turn around

and turn the head

of everyone in town

her shaking shaking

glittering bones

second blonde child

after brian jones

oh it isn't fair

how I dreamed of her

and she sleptand she slept

forever

and I'll never dance

with her no never

she broke down

like a babylike a baby girl

like a lady

with ermine hair

oh it isn't fair

and I'd like to see

her rise again

her white white bones

with baby brian jones

baby brian jones

like blushing

baby dolls

Patti Smith

Seventh Heaven (1972)

Telegraph Books, Boston, MA, USA

pain with happiness

got from andy's blog.

when i have something real,cruel,from the depths of my heart,

i found i don't have a place whitch belongs to me only.

i'm so unaided now.

i'm a transparent boy bitch.

復蘇

It\'s so hard to say that I\'m sorry I\'ll make everything alright all these things that I\'ve done now what have I become and where they go wrong I dont mean to hurt just to put you first I wont tell you lies (I\'m sorry) I will stand accused with my hand on my heart, I\'m just trying to say; I\'m sorry, it\'s all that I can say you mean so much and I\'d fix all that I\'ve done, if I could start again I threw it all away, to the shadows of regrets and you would have the best of me I know that I can\'t take back all the of the mistakes but I will try although it\'s not easy I know you believe me cause I would not lie don\'t believe the lies, told from jealous eyes they dont understand (I\'m sorry) I will break your heart, I will bring you down, but I will have to say; I\'m sorry, it\'s all that I can say you mean so much and I\'d fix all that I\'ve done, if I could start again I threw it all away, to the shadows of regrets and you would have the best of me I\'m sorry, it\'s all that I can say you mean so much and I\'d fix all that I\'ve done, if I could start again I threw it all away, to the shadows of regrets and you would have the best of me




---------------sum41 best of me









我幾個月沒有過來更新了？
自從上次把《混長》貼過來之后好像就沒來幾次。
在此期間我搞了一個豆瓣，搞了一個blogbus。不過都玩膩了。
我把頭發剪短了，寸頭，每根都一樣長。


十一假期馬上結束
我在家也呆夠了
把在學校寫的文章打了出來
投了電子稿
投給誰都忘了
原本叫做《活在明天》后改為《向撒旦保證》的小說現在定為了《單軌時光》
主人公刪掉了三個
大手術之后的作品得到了阿貓的認可
我自己覺得也不錯
只是不知道往下還怎么寫
不知還有沒有人來這里
上次桃跟我說這里很久沒更新了
當時我想 我還有必要要blogspot嗎？
windows live是我不能變的blog
很簡潔的一個地方
但讀者甚少
這里讀者也不多
但這里夠繁華
不想寫太多
下午打了一篇小說回了一封郵件
說實話 回那位老師的日語郵件對我來說很糾結
以后我必須拿著字典和筆記回
不然我的大腦一片空白

full of love

这是上周的某天凌晨三点，我带着多多出去拉屎。

忘了是哪一夜

不科学的生活习惯导致我身体的各种变形.
我就是那棵没有被木棍夹住的树苗,长大了,畸形了,后悔了,没辙了.

scrap heaven

这真是一部很棒的片子，也是日本电影远远胜过韩国电影的又一例证。

他们都很酷。

新日

很久没在家里接客了。这话听起来真猥琐。我的意思是，我已经很久没在家里和朋友见面了。哦，老鞠除外，老鞠是特例。话说老鞠工作了，说一个月1500，累得腿都软了。我爸出言不逊地讽刺了一句（原内容就不说了），一下子把我弄怒了。但我也没说什么。

又是一个春草日

不知怎么回事这几天特别不愿意写日志不愿意把这些生活啊感想啊什么的让别人看也不想出门日子特别难熬毫无目的毫无乐趣下载了几个世界禁片有曾经一度寻找的感官世界之类好多部我都忘了名字并没有什么让我觉得值得禁的东西不过是裸露而已一部好的片子就需要裸那才是艺术昨天下了一天的雨今天凌晨看了一点王小柔的都是妖蛾子有的地方特逗每个作家都有自己的特色那些幽默感以及对生活标新立异的感悟那些突如其来的灵感都值得我学习珍藏成为日后的快慰凌晨四点想跟别人聊天躺在床上晃了几个人都关机就小燕开机把我给骂了说她正在睡觉睡到下午断断续续地睡眠起床后和超人去兴工街买了新一期的0086里面全是超人知道的我一概不认识的人似乎大部分都是地下和半地下的年轻人文艺青年也许在大街上抽烟旁边就是下水道热乎乎的气体并没有让人反胃的味道阴沉的天气中南海的气息回家时看见我妈的身影喊着小狗的名字多多我以为她在遛狗没想到回家后她说多多差点丢了然后又是把我奶一顿埋怨我说你别生气了自己还遭罪多多回来了不愿意回家巴望着门口浑身僵硬我感到有什么事曾经发生过但根本无法确定是什么也许我出门之后家里发生了什么让它这么害怕又或许它感觉到了什么不详的气息所以畏惧这就是我的一天一个不需要标点修饰的日子

旧日

睡到下午三点，睡到皮开肉绽。

残章断句

把电脑里全部的照片都存到了网络相册里，费时近7个小时。特慢，特多，有的格式不对我还得改。不过现在已经全部搞定了。


写过的文章，能删的也删了很多。不能删的也存在了一个秘密的博客里，和相册是相连的。设置的是不公开，除非有密码，否则谁也看不到。这我就放心了。只要我不忘记密码就好。

－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－

关于《在混乱中长大》，唯一值得记录的，我想只有每章的名字。

第一章 在岁月里裸奔前行
第二章 青春的尘埃
第三章 我站在我的肩膀上
第四章 一瞬间的永远
第五章 于不幸中寻觅万幸的可能

－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－

i cannot forget it

all i need is time, a moment that is mine.

it's hard to discrub how i feel now.

i'm sad.

活著

我每天凌晨睡覺，中午醒來。醒來后總是拖延一會兒，看看手機或者在床上打幾個滾，然后洗臉刷牙。我的午飯就是我的早飯，有時也代替了晚飯。
我的生活總是很有規律，上學時有上學的規律，放假又有放假時的規律。從不打亂。

我最近在密謀寫一個小說，打算畢業前出版。目前已寫了兩萬字。

這些天我總是夢見一些熟人，我還夢到我在課堂上和班主任打架，夢到×××過年的時候找我去他家看春晚。特別多的事兒，一晚上能夢見好幾出。起床后我得用十分鐘的時間讓自己清醒清醒。

最近我的脾氣特差，我根本沒法和我爸說三句以上的話。我不知為什么一看見他就特別煩。
我的軍裝褲子改了兩次了，還是特別肥。這身傻屄的軍裝讓我對綠色失去了全部的好感，我這輩子再也不想穿綠色的衣服了。

煩死了，馬上就他媽開學了，我作業還一個字沒寫。這還讓不讓人活了，十月份有考試，估計還得檢查頭發什么的，跟大傻屄似的。

我狗年罵月能畢業啊我操我真受不了我們學校，我一想到又要上學我就發慌我的心都碰碰的跳。我的學生生涯多么驚悚啊，上了十年的學，每個學校都有讓我難以接受的地方。我真他媽煩死學校了。

我只能把希望寄托在我的學業和我的novel上。孩兒們啊。。。

为何我们不是同类

我们都是人类，这体现在我们都有坚强和脆弱的一面，都有善良和邪恶的一面，都有热血沸腾和萎靡不振的一面，都有对生活充满向往和拿着刀片伤害自己的一面。

my olympic night

i called some friends from graffti group in OICQ to go to the olympic square to watch the live broadcast of the Olympics. but to my surprise, the large screen there was dismantled. so we go to McDonald's to drink coca cola and watch the small TV of here.

the mark of olympic square.

maybe 8 o'clock we came out and don't know where to go. i really don't wanna call that to mind.they just wanna watch the opening ceremony of the olympic games, but we have no place. so they decided to back home. i was very angry, then most of them went away, just left Superman and Littlehang. we backed to McDonald's to continue watching TV. at about 9 o'clock, Superman had to back home so he left, only Littlehang and me stayed there. we watched still the McDonald's put up the shuttles. we walked from olympic square to renmin queare.

stayed at renmin square.

i was very tired then we sitted down in a park. that was nearly 11 o'clock. that was not the first time i don't back home at night, but that was the first time that i don't back home and stay at a quiet park. cool wind and some one walks a dog. i like that feeling.then we took a texi to a KTV, at there we watched the end of the opening ceremony of the olympic games. lining lit the olympic flame.

severl people were watching.

after that we began to sing songs. that was happy. this morning i backed home and slept form 8 o'clock to 18 o'clock. i was very sleepy.

littlehang was sleeping at that time.

last night,it was dark

lost my passion

as soon as i came into a new part of the novel i felt it's too difficult to express how i feel in the strory.

i was tring to descrip a boy who called "liangsi". he has a broken heart and his parents divorced when he was a middle school student.

it's really diffcult to make up a story to me. because i'm not a man of wide knowledge and experience.

i should find my passion.

graffiti on the roof

It's rainning today, i went to a place called "jiaofang" to play with my friend superman. We went to his house's roof straightly, then we doodled over the wall.

He showed me his magazine(however i forget the name), he is a fashionable boy, he reads"0086" and some other fashionable magezines.

we somked, and talked much about punk, rock band, youth arts , underground things, movies and so on.
me.
He is a creative boy, really knows much more then me. from him i got too much knowladge, but i forgot too much either when i backed home.


Mr.superman.
the mark of converse on the left is drew by him, the skull on the right is drew by me.

J

Deleted some of my old diaries, they make me feel so boring.

Maybe i love somebody now, believe me. this feeling is creative and full of passion.

This colourful feeling made me know a truth: those guys who i loved before just a false appearance. now this is a alive/ clean/ cute.....love.

Oh god i hate to say love usually. but it's true. even now i cannot believe either.

Fall in love at first sight. is there anyone believes ?

Hey! Washington! wait me! i will run to you someday! i--will--live--in--your--heart--with--my--dear--honey!!!!

Wait me! the whole world!! wait me!!! yeah!!!!

Begin To Workhard

This sentences and poetries are written by myself, i like them and maybe i will put them into my novel.

A.
每个老师都有着不同程度的变态心理,其变态的程度从他们给学生留的作业数量中就可以充分看出.而最变态的是那些留完大量作业后还不忘说句"我是为你们好"的老师,简直已经变态到山崩地裂的程度.

B.

无以复加

此时此刻我比任何时候都渴望被毁灭
真想找到一个屠夫
求求他
剁掉我的头颅
撕裂我的身体
掏出我的心脏并碾碎

08.05.13


变更

我变了
怒火渐渐熄灭
棱角早已磨平
内心的扭曲无法阻拦客观事实的变更
我变了
结局无法扭转

08.06.30


让我们一起检讨

在你高亢的嗓门下渐渐失去了听觉
在你肥胖的身躯下渐渐失去了呼吸
那是唾液横飞的一天
不复存在
距离的拉近
打破了我们对美好的所有幻想

08.07.12

The Summer Vacation Comes

this pic was taken in my hostel
how about it
is it punk?

with my little brother

.....

下周不回家了,和師父去通宵.我現在特想跟他去喝點酒,最好喝個伶仃大醉.

10號放假,不知會不會有人去接我,不接也沒什么,不來接我就少拿點東西回家,反正拿回去的書我也不看.

上周下了整整一周的雨,難以想象,每天都是陰雨綿綿,這樣的日子我是怎么過來的.

(拍這張照片的時候天還在下著小雨呢)

Repair Again

好像每俩月就得彻头彻尾地修理一番我的电脑.

查出了19个木马,卡巴斯基换回了原来的360安全卫士.

<活在明天>正式开始步入写作阶段

诗一首


马革裹尸

我已经厌恶了你的风云变幻
苍老和无为
而你还沉浸在我的不羁之中
我的不同

2008.05



今天端午节,阴沉的天气.在我打"阴沉的天气"的时候正好我妈在外边说了句:怎么这么冷.

The Last Day

today is the last day of the 3-day holiday.yesterday i did nothing at home,just searched the internet.these 3 days i haven't usen my phone, maybe there're some messages from my friends.now i should take shower,then do something important.afternoon i must back school,there must be too many people on the bus.

today i mae a new friend,a 1/16 chinese girl.i like my mixd friends.

i do wanna type my fucking novel, but it's too long to type,i just have 3 days.